Sissy poo...it's okay to want a relationship

Like many, I spent Labor Day Weekend drinking with family. It felt great to reconnect with cuzzos, aunties, uncles and everyone else in between. My youngest sister was there with my brother-in-law, along with their two boys, who tuned into Inspector Gadgets to try to help me find my long-gone Paypal business debit card.

(For those who don't know how Paypal cards work, they allow you to use your card like other debit cards, only the money spent comes from your Paypal (and connected bank) account. This means I can simply transfer the balance to said back account and use my regular bank card to get my coin. I technically don't need the card. Plus I have another account and *gasp* actual cash in my wallet. I'm not ballin', but I'm not broke. Thank you for coming to my TEDx Talk.)

Now, lemme preface this real quick: the DRANKS were flowing. I'm usually not a Pinnacle Vodka chick but as my beloved white Charlotte dad says "if it's for free, it's for me!". With the right amount of cranbUrry juice and ice cubes, I had my brown self a good ole time.

Not to mention, my bourbon belly decided to take a quick vacation as well, so I looked cute over the weekend, even if I do say mah-self.  *takes bow*

But -- I've noticed this a few years ago while tackling my Master's degree in Queens -- when I drink, I become super observant. I notice everyEFFINGthing. Good, bad, indifferent. Thankfully, I'd only spotted good shit at my cuzzo's: commitment. Because I know these crazy relatives. If they, like me, are not satisfied with a situation -- be it marriage, a career, anyMOFOthing, they are out.

They are still in. From my little sissy, to my first and second cuzzes, to my own parents, to my aunts and uncles...and so on. They have to be happy. And that makes me happy. It also gave me permission to want to be single, happy and desire a relationship of my own.

And ladies -- and by ladies, I mean BW who are always on the giving end of shit -- it is okay to have desires even if the actual word screams selfish. To some, the word may garner feelings of guilt, especially when it's paired with Netflix, good food and great sex.

Guess what, sis? You too can desire great sex! TF? I swear, if I have to spend the remainder of 2019 undoing the stinkin' thinkin' that (sorry mom and dad) da church has done to us in the 80s and 90s, so be it.

Look...you can have what you desire instead of putting it in the back of your mind to (maybe) revisit after the kiddos get grown, after you retire, or after you land that "real jawb". You can desire shit, and you can (wait for it) get the shit you desire. For my Christians, read Psalm 37:4, and get at me about your desires and whatnot.

You have to put in the work though.

But here's the thing, it's not even a whole lot of work!

If you want to meet more men (or women...) then go to a football game. The season is upon us. Go Ravens!  Or go to a bar on game day. Or go to a nicer gas station. Or do the networking event you thought about as it appeared in your FB feed. Go somewhere different. Or go somewhere, periodT. It's okay. You can be single, happy and want some d!ck (or puzzy...or both).

Set your desires free already, sis...